This should have been a Mastercard Ad
(translated from a German mail)
I force my eyes to open and see a packet of aspirin and a glas of water. Slowly I sit up and look around. I am home.
On a chair nearby are my clothes, neatly folded up. I see that the room is clean and tidy. I take the aspirin and notice a piece of paper on the table: "My dear, the breakfast is on the table in the kitchen. I am out early to go shopping. I love you!"
So I go into the kitchen and yes, there is the ready made breaktfast, a morning paper and my daughter already eating.
I ask her: "Girl, what has happened yesterday?" She answers: "Well dad. You came home at 3 am, were totally drunk and almost passed out. You destroyed some furniture, puked in the floor and almost poked your eye out when you walked against the door knob."
Confused I continue asking: "But why is everything so tidy and the breakfast on the table?" "Oh that." she answers, "Mom dragged you in the bedroom, put you on the bed adn then tried to pull off your pants, but you cried out: "Take off your hands bitch, I am happily married!"
- good drinking: 100 EUR
- broken furniture: 250 EUR
- breakfast: 10 EUR
- saying the right thing at the right time: priceless
